I’ve lived in parts of the world that didn’t have clear seasons. In Nepal the “seasons” were basically whatever altitude you happened to be at. (high was “winter”, low was “summer”.) Southern California is just disorienting to me with the unrelenting sunshine. Australia was similar. Gum trees are all evergreens, and the odd, confused imported deciduous trees would lose their leaves in the July “winter,” winter being a season during which you could still plant pansies.

I don’t know if it’s because I grew up in the northeast, or perhaps because my genes are mostly from Ireland, but I’m partial to the summer rains and crystalline winters where I live. (but ok, I would not wish for more this year, we are getting plenty of both.) To be clear, the thing that I like is the CHANGE. The difference, the counterpoint, the sharp contrast. If it were always overcast, that would be as boring to me as if it were always sunny.

I think there is something literally embedded in our cellular memory, in our molecules, that resonates with the fact that there are natural cycles. Day and night, summer and winter, sowing and reaping, frenzied work and deep relaxation. I also think we are, to our detriment, waking up in a culture that has historically defined success by the ability to conquer these natural cycles.

We have inhabited areas that would be intolerable without air conditioning, we have pushed towards unrelenting short-term growth without pause in our economy and on our farms, we drink caffeine so that we override the signals from our bodies that want to pause and we work all but only two weeks a year, sometimes with even less pause than that.

We only have to look at what happens to people who don’t sleep to see the folly of this pause-avoidance. They go nuts! An analogy to the kind of catastrophic growth we are promoting in our economy is, of course, cancer; a careening, unbridled, unlistening growth. Looking at the larger cycles of civilization, one sees that all eras end, some less gracefully than others.

We are steeped in this culture of pause-avoidance and we consider the overriding of natural cycles to be normal. What happens to our bodies and our lives as a result of this?

One of the things that happens is Adrenal Fatigue. This is an endocrine imbalance resulting from our “fight or flight” switch being left on without pause. We also don’t tend to grow and progress as much. You know how if something really big happens to you, you sort of work it out in your dreams? You know this because you may remember bits and pieces of the dream. That is, I believe, one of the reasons that people who don’t sleep start to lose their minds: they can’t process emotions and sensory input.

We need time without stimulation to process our lives– no radio on, no TV, no computer, no iPod, no input– just silence. Silence, solitude and time. This down time is often considered a “waste” of time, when you could be “getting something done.” But in fact, without this down time, a person can get stuck and stagnant in their emotional and actual lives. Our lives are constantly bringing us lessons and opportunities to grow, learn and progress. Often, we don’t take the opportunity.

As usual, I’m talking to myself. I’m trying to work out how to integrate what I know with how I live. I have a 3 year old son. Balancing life with him and my husband while running a business and a household means that I always have something on my to do list that needs attention right now. It’s a constant struggle to remind my action-oriented self to stop and put a pause as a high priority. Not just a curl up with a cup of tea and a gossip magazine kind of pause, but something more intentional.

I have role models who have a regular routine of setting intention. It’s really cool. They ritually conjure up the clear image of what they want their life to manifest, feel the feeling they would have in that scenario, and linger there in gratitude. How cool. I’m not there yet, but it’s where I’m aiming. I do journal semi-regularly, usually to work out some knotty issue I’m dealing with, so my journals tend to be a bunch of whingeing monologues, instead of intention and gratitude.

I am on break right now, about to embark on a holiday to meet the extended family in Ireland. Traveling is always an awesome way for me to have stark contrast while still having action, which is good for me, but I can also hear my life telling me I need some silence, solitude and time. I need to recede from my action-filled life and take a larger pause. Not just the pause within a busy life, but a more significant one where I can listen for guidance as to what direction my life will take.

I’m not particularly good at that. I am a product of my culture. I find action and accomplishment to be much more satisfying than silence. But I am aware that I don’t progress as much when I push unrelentingly. Something mysteriously happens when I allow myself some silence, solitude and time. I learn from my mistakes. I grow. I like that.

I don’t believe that willpower is the gas that makes us progress as people. It might be the starter, but awareness is the gas. So I will be trying to clarify the awareness that regular pauses, intention and gratitude actually have some beneficial impact on my life. I want to see more clearly how my non-action is an important contrast to my action. I might be more comfortable speaking, but, of course, speaking is not more important than listening. There is room for both.

Another motivation for me is that I want to “be the change I wish to see in the world.” (Gandhi was the man.) I see how our hubristic, caffeine-propelled, short-sighted culture is careening towards an uncertain future and I want to manifest a different, more balanced action– one that might create a world that my son would be proud to inherit.

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